imagine bucky taking care of himself for the first time since he was taken by hydra, just little things that make him happy like buying shampoo that smells like citrus and picking out toothpaste that isn’t artificially flavored with gross tasting stuff and watching an old movie that always made him smile. imagine him relearning how to be more than just a weapon. imagine him figuring out how to be bucky barnes again
Ok, I really want to talk about this scene, the last gif in particular because it is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever witnessed on screen. So Bucky lets them put that guard in his mouth and lets them push him back on the chair and strap him there like an animal. You can see that on the first gif, he waits for it like a soldier would. His face is resolute. It is his ‘bring it on' face, because this is his life and his mission and he is nothing but a weapon. The moment they strap him, his body twitches and there is a sudden change in his facial expression. But still, he waits for it and breathes because what else is he supposed to do? He can't rebel. He has no free will. Now, the third gif is what completely kills me. Moments before it happens, he blinks. He blinks deeply. That is the most human I have seen him in this entire movie. That is his cry for help. That is his resolution slipping away and his fear setting in. And he exhales, biting on that guard even harder. That is Bucky's 'dear god, why is this happening to me?’
Notice how his breathing rapidly increases and the body muscles contracts. Supposedly the mind wipe wipes out his previous memories, missions, information or whatsoever, including the process itself. Here we see Bucky’s reaction to the “new experience”, his mind’s probably in a blank state but clearly his body remembers. Remembers the electric shock piercing through his nerve system, the brain numbed by the excruciating pain. The body is trembling and scared. Even if Bucky was keeping his fear inside, his body’s natural instincts and reflex betrays him. This certainly speaks truth to how dreadful the procedure was.
The whole last gif is someone bracing themselves for how bad they’re about to be hurt. And the screaming. Up to that point the Winter Soldier himself is rather soft spoken when he does talk. And he’s a bad ass who we see get the tar knocked out of himself without so much as a word. But this is so bad he can’t stop screaming. Bucky breaks my heart because of all the Marvel characters, he’s treated the worst, hands down, villain or hero. He’s tortured over and over and over. Bucky is just hard to watch. And in spite of all that he still does something GOOD in the end.
"The whole last gif is someone bracing themselves for how bad they’re about to be hurt. And the screaming. Up to that point the Winter Soldier himself is rather soft spoken when he does talk. And he’s a bad ass who we see get the tar knocked out of himself without so much as a word. But this is so bad he can’t stop screaming.”
I don’t know if Sebastian made a conscious choice to do this or if it was accidental, but it is genius. I think he understands the character well enough though. Just look at the way his eyes press together and then open up wide in terror. That heavy exhale as he prepares for what’s coming. Just think on how many times this has happened to him? How many times has he been sitting on this exact chair remembering something of his past life. Something that would bring some type of meaning to his robotic existence. All he really wants is to remember and at the same time because he has been conditioned not to feel anything, he doesn’t really know that he wants to remember. It is a horrible place to be in. Not only is the procedure physically agonizing, but he knows that the faint light that he is starting to see at the end of the very dark tunnel that has been his life, will completely be removed and he would be back to being a hollow shell of a man. And the fact that he accepting this torture willingly because he has been trained not to have a choice in the matter, kills me.
This trapped animal look was awful. That’s not the Winter Soldier. That’s the scared little kid he turns into when he’s confused and in pain. Because the Winter Soldier is a machine. But when the scrap of Bucky that’s still in there starts banging around, the machine goes fetal and he just reverts to this child like thing.
yep, just what I thought.
Or.. there´s the other possibility.
When he´s confused and scared, he resorts to violence….
Ugh that face. The way he is looking at Steve not knowing what the other man is going to do. Because he is looking at Steve as his mission, as the man he has to kill. And then at the same time, there is a familiarity there that he doesn’t understand. And what is happening now? The man he had stabbed and shot multiple times is saving his life? Why? No one cares about him. He is only worth saving because he is an efficient killer, not because he matters. And this man, this target, even though he is bleeding out and the world is literally crumbling down around them, is using the last bit of strength he has left to save his life. This is probably the first act of kindness anyone has shown him in 70 years.
"I need to remember.”
look dudes those of you who know me know I am occasionally prone to hyperbole (don’t all deny it at once) but this is THE WORST, THIS IS AWFUL, I AM CLUTCHING MY FACE, I SQUEAKED IN THE CINEMA, LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT HIS FIVE DAY BEARD HE CAN’T REMEMBER HOW TO SHAVE AND HIS BASEBALL CAP HE STOLE FROM SOMEWHERE BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO BLEND IN, LOOK AT HOW HE’S STANDING A LITTLE HUNCHED, JUST IN CASE ANYONE IS LOOKING.
LOOK AT HOW HE’S LOOKING AT HIMSELF WITH ALMOST THE SAME EXPRESSION
THIS IS THE WORST.
The fact that Bucky has forgotten how to take care of himself and doesn’t know how to act like a person is incredibly heartbreaking. And there he stands staring at the man he used to be, or at least, the man Steve said he was. But he is not Bucky Barnes. Not anymore. He can’t remember how to be Bucky Barnes. He stands there hearing a voice mention his name and narrate how he and Steve were friends and how he had sacrificed his life for something important. But that is not him anymore. Not after everything he has done and the things that were done to him. This is probably the first time he has actually stopped to look at himself. The only times he saw his reflection before were the moments before he got turned back to ice or the brief seconds when he caught a glance of it in car windows and rearview mirrors. A hero, they called him. He can’t remember ever doing anything remotely heroic.
if you don’t think this is the saddest thing in the whole of the MCU then you’re very very wrong.
Bucky Barnes is the most tortured character in the Marvel universe. Just try and argue with me.
ATTENTION: if you see a post like this, IT IS A SCREAMER. DO NOT CLICK THE LINK.
The screamer includes a black and white flashy gif maximized to fit your browser and a very loud piercing screech noise. If in any way this can trigger you, please be aware and reblog to signal boost.
thankyou ohmygod a friend linked me this literally 2 minutes ago and i was about to click it and i would’ve had a seizure you saved my life ohmygod im so grateful
Just in case I have any followers with epilepsy like myself. Stay safe!
I love seeing my followers reblog this! This is fucking awful. And when we say you saved our lives? Let me explain. 2x the number of people that die from breast cancer each year die from having seizures. So yeah, it’s a fucking big deal. So thank you all so much! Everyone, please signal boost!
>teenage actress’s private nudes get leaked
>teenage actress is reviled as a slut and a whore and a bad role model
>james franco asks a seventeen-year-old girl if he can meet her in a private hotel room
>james franco gets to go on saturday night live and joke about what a silly doofus he is for soliciting sex from a girl literally half his age
DO NOT DARE OVERLOOK THIS POST
Spread this shit like wildfire
If you say Bucky Barnes is a villain, Sebastian Stan will find you and give you a lecture on how he isn’t a villain, but a victim